If you look around at the world today, it seems that everyone is trying to be number one…..either in sports, school, their profession, or for promotions, etc. Now that’s not necessarily a bad thing as long as we only look at our progress and not get caught up in comparing ourselves to others, which always ends up making us feel less than someone else.
For a lot of us, the competing and comparing may come from our past where we had to vie for attention and importance.
We can hear our false inadequacies screaming in our ears, or sometimes it’s just a nagging whisper, reminding us that we are not enough. I despise those annoying little minions that try to trip us up and steal our joy. Besides, why do we believe such lies? It’s time to Change Your Script and Change Your Life.
Maybe you grew up with parents who always expected that you should do better, no matter how well you did. Even if your grades were great or your accomplishments were almost to the top, they seemed to expect perfection.
Or maybe you did everything perfectly and yet they never acknowledged you or seemed to care. Unless of course, you didn’t do so well, then you heard about it. There is a lot of stress and hurt feelings when we feel we have to perform instead of being accepted for who we are and receiving and feeling loved for doing our best.
Perhaps you had a wonderful childhood, and the doubts and insecurities came in elementary, junior high or high school. You were happy in your world until someone didn’t think you measured up or you encountered the unhappy kids (aka bullies) who wanted to make others unhappy.
That’s not to say we shouldn’t look at “what can be,” and try to reach for the ideal….but in our reaching and improving, let’s make the journey one of love, joy, and compassion for ourselves and others.
So who are we? We are human beings, not human doings. Yes, we should strive to be the best version of ourselves for us, but doing it to please others, so we feel loved only leaves us feeling not enough. Never good enough, not smart enough, not talented enough, not strong enough and not beautiful enough. It can either discourage us, and we give up, or we barely bump along, maybe thinking what’s the use? Sometimes the opposite is true- it can put us in a very aggressive or competitive mode where we are always trying to prove ourselves to others.
This can happen for everyone so let’s look at this from a higher perspective. You were born into this world as a perfect human being full of potential and possibilities. You loved everything about yourself and were fascinated with your hands or feet, staring at them for hours. You felt free and loved and smiled often, And then you grew up. What happened?
Like most of us, as you were exploring your world, you looked to family and friends for validation and to show you about life and the world. It is not your fault, but you picked up insecurities from your parents, siblings, and others, and began to believe that maybe you weren’t so perfect after all. You started to be aware of your shortcomings and your imperfections. If your parents had their stresses, financial problems, insecurities, and relationship issues you internalized whatever it was. It was easy to take it all personally, thinking you were the problem. Perhaps you felt that you were adding to their problems when in fact it wasn’t about you because they owned their issues.
Because of life’s challenges perhaps you began to think, “Maybe I am not as good as I thought,” and you started to compare yourself to others. Of course, we usually look at other’s positive attributes and compare them to our weaknesses, and always come up short. It is never a fair comparison, but then how could it possibly be? You are unique; a one of a kind miracle and should never have to compare yourself to others. You always want to see your strengths and your unique way of overcoming life’s challenges and celebrate your authentic self.
Never underestimate your power and your light within. Never underestimate the power of the mind. You can accomplish anything you choose because you and all of us are on this earth to make a difference.
When we can love ourselves in a beautiful, healthy way, we will grow, excel, and reach our potential. We will let our incredible light shine. We can then reach out and show that kindness and love to others. Can you see that when many people do that, it will change the world? Can you see how your divine light can make an impact?
Love yourself enough to treat yourself right. Start with small steps and start with saying this mantra:
“I am good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough and strong enough.”
It is so true; you are enough, so embrace your incredible Enoughness.
If you need some encouragement, I’m here for you.
Love and blessings!
Rosemary Evans
Children’s Book Author