Embrace Your Enoughness - Kids and Contracts
Embrace Your Enoughness - 12/27/2019
Today’s message is a recent story about my youngest granddaughter.
The teachers at the school she attends have the students’ best interest at heart and they wanted every student to sign a contract agreeing that they would be kind. My granddaughter is a unique girl and stands in her own power, which seems to attract meanness from other girls. All the girls in her class had signed the “be kind” contract, and yet my granddaughter didn’t see evidence that it was working. She refused to sign the contract, feeling that if kids are still mean, then the contract meant nothing.
Her refusal didn’t sit well with the teacher, and so after some encouragement, which turned into badgering, my granddaughter firmly stood her ground. The teacher was frustrated and sent her to the principal’s office.
The teacher didn’t ask her why she didn’t want to sign it, nor did she ask if she was being bullied; she just insisted she sign the contract. After she sat in the principal’s office for 20 minutes, she caved in (her words) and signed the contract.
After she told me the story and her perspective about the situation, it was hard for me to not to just burst out in joyous laughter. She totally understood the truth of the situation - what does it matter if everyone signs a contract if no one going to honor it. I was so proud of her!
I think the conversation I had with her told so much about how we can all end up giving up and giving in when we aren’t heard, and our opinions are not valued.
I am sure we all have felt that to keep the peace we have to give up who we are and comply with what others want. We may feel at times that we don’t matter and that other’s opinions are more important than ours. Children can easily feel powerless and may be viewed by adults as “naughty” and need discipline, which does not help them feel heard or understood. Feeling unvalued can bring on feelings of self-doubt and even depression and turn into not being very motivated because what difference does it make if no one hears you.
After my granddaughter and I discussed this situation for a while, I pointed out that just maybe the reason to sign the contract was more about her and a reminder for her to be kind and not worry about if someone else was honoring the contract. After all it is always in the end about feeling empowered and living your own truth regardless how the world around you is demonstrating their own values.
The most important thing we can do for ourselves is to honor who we are and hopefully others will see our lead and follow suit. We have no control over how someone else decides to show up in the world, but we need to be true to ourselves, love ourselves and celebrate our uniqueness and our own enoughness….because when we are true to who we know we are, it helps us to show up as our authentic self and to celebrate our enoughness.
If you need some encouragement, I’m here for you.
Love and blessings!
Children’s Book Author