IF YOU DIDN’T START EARLY, IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO START NOW!
The Enoughness Blog 3/19/2019
I have a wonderful group of friends that get together to celebrate birthdays and other special occasions. During one of our conversations, we were discussing a musical that was taking place where several regions of the US are participating and how tough the judging was because there were so many very talented kids performing.
One of the ladies in the group said that she knows one of the students in this musical, and mentioned that this girl not only sings beautifully but she plays the piano well and speaks five languages….which will serve her well. She is also a beautiful girl with many admirable qualities and personality to go with it.
One friend then commented that when she hears how talented and capable others are she feels like a slug and thinks she has not accomplished much in her life. Oh my goodness! I looked at her and could hardly believe she said that because she is one of the most ambitious and talented women that I know. I admire her and love her so much, and it was painful for me to hear her negativity towards herself.
I thought how we all tend to do this for some odd reason - never appreciating our talents and strengths and comparing ourselves to others. I’ve done it, and you have probably done it, right? Maybe a few people get motivated to do better, to sign up for a class or a program, but for most of us, comparing ourselves to others only makes us discouraged and leaves us with a feeling that we are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough, and certainly are not talented enough. We then just shrug our shoulders and think, “Oh well,” and give up trying.
I am listening to an Audible book, and was impressed with the author asking us to name “what’s cool about you.” He suggests that we write as many positive things you can come up with about yourself. Naming our strengths and not dwelling on our weaknesses helps give us the confidence to try new things and to reach out to others. We sometimes tend to dwell on the negative and what we are not, but if we turned this around, we would have a lot more joy in our lives. We would reach out more to others and help them feel loved and inspired.
This is certainly going to give away my age, but when I was a little girl, I remember my sisters coming home from a movie and gushing about the little actress who could dance and sing and was so adorable and talented. They went on and on about her, and no it did not inspire me to do better. I remember thinking that I could never do that because I was so shy and quiet, and I thought I had no talents. I even thought that my sisters liked her better than me. Remember, I was only about 4 or 5 years of age…..about the same age as the actress, the famous Shirley Temple.
Yes, it was an untrue story I was telling myself. Of course, my sisters loved me and were only appreciating the talents of others….which is something we all should be doing. But unfortunately, it’s easy to start beating ourselves up, comparing ourselves to others and then thinking we have to compete to feel better about ourselves. Because we feel so inadequate, we end up on the outside looking in. Yes, someone is going to be smarter, more talented, prettier, or have a better car, house, etc. If we spend our whole life looking at what we don’t have, we can never appreciate what we do have, how talented we are, how amazing we are and how our gifts can lift others.
My friend who made those remarks is someone who lifts others without even realizing it. She is a talented and fun teacher to all ages. She has so much vitality and energy and is always willing to do whatever needs to be done. She is so grounded in goodness that she inspires others with her emotional and spiritual strength. Yes, she is a lovely and amazing woman.
So the main reason I am writing this is that I started thinking about how we may say something to others about our friends’ talents, but how often do we tell them to their face? I remember one of the ladies in the group telling me that hardly anyone would say anything to her after she would sing a beautiful solo in church. She has a beautiful voice but started to doubt her talents. So why don’t we share with others how much we admire their talents, their sharing, their personality and what they mean to us?
It’s important that we recognize the enoughness of others, and it is crucial for our own well being and happiness to appreciate and love the unique person we are.
So today, take my challenge and write down all the “cool” things about you and Embrace Your Enoughness. Then go tell your wonderful friends all the “cool” things about them.